


For the lads

by Allthephils



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Casual Sex, First Meeting, Homophobia, M/M, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:45:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allthephils/pseuds/Allthephils
Summary: Dan helps Phil get rid of some rabble rousers at the bar where he works.





	For the lads

No one comes to this bar on weeknights. Phil has dusted the shelves, refilled the well liquor, faced the bottles, and made a fresh batch of sour mix. He’s bored and when Phil is bored, he plays. He opens up Spotify on his phone and searches his bar music playlists. Clicking on a list, he plants a kiss on his finger and touches it to the face of Brendon Urie smirking at him from the screen. “Looking good, babe.” Phil says as he hits play and tries to wink but both his eyes close and his whole face contorts with the effort. He grabs a shaker and starts throwing things in, a little Strega, a good scotch, simple syrup, and lemon juice, mostly because he loves using the squeezer. He shoves the cover on the shaker and starts to shake, a little to the left, with a little mambo step, a little to the right with a wiggle of the hips. He’s terribly off rhythm but he doesn’t care. Then, just as Brendon’s voice crescendos, a vigorous shake right above his head accompanied by his own voice, “Oh it’s Saturday night!”

“Actually it’s only Tuesday.”

Phil jumps right out of his skin and spins around, clutching his chest.

“Oh my gosh!” He runs to the corner, shaker still in hand, and lowers the volume of the music. “You gave me a heart attack.”

“Did I? An actual heart attack? Should I call somebody? Are you an organ donor?”

Apparently sarcasm is this guy’s thing. Phil grabs a lowball and fills it with ice, then pours the cocktail in.

“How did you sneak in so quietly? You’re like a ninja.”

Dipping in a straw, Phil gets himself a taste and pauses a moment to think, then grabs an orange from a bowl on the bar. He slices a wedge of peel and twists it over the cocktail then drops the peel in.

“You like scotch?”

The guys at the bar shrugs, “I like whiskey.”

“Close enough.”

He slides the drink over and it ends up right under the guy’s nose with the way he’s hunched over the bar. “It smells like pine sol.” The guy says. He crinkles his nose and curls his lip and for the first time, Phil notices he’s kinda cute.

“Ouch, that’s my creation, my baby, the fruit of my loins.” Phil says, raising his fists in a plea for mercy.

The guy doesn’t raise his head but he raises an eyebrow and looks up at Phil with so much judgement. “I’m not sure I’m ready to drink the fruit of your loins. At least buy me dinner first.” He picks up the drink and smells it suspiciously.

Phil snickers, “Listen, that’s Strega you’re smelling. It’s also what's making your cocktail look like literal sunshine.”

“My cocktail? I don’t remember ordering anything.”

Phil leans back on the counter behind him and wipes his hands on the towel hanging from his belt. “It’s on me. I need a guinea pig. Please? I really think you’ll like it.”

The guy heaves an exaggerated sigh, pinches his nose shut, and closes his eyes. He lifts his glass and takes a small sip, then another. His eyes open and he gives Phil a sideways glance as he takes a nice, long drink, letting his hand drop away from his nose.

“Ok.” He drinks again. “Ok! It’s actually really good, like kind of amazing.” He goes in again.

“Woah.” Phil puts a hand over the guy’s, lowering the glass from his lips. “Maybe slow down a bit. It’s a kicker.”

Phil turns away to clean the shaker and wipe the counter. He always makes a mess when he makes new cocktails.

“Looks like a bomb went off back there.” The guy looks around. “Am I the only one here?”

“You can’t tame creative genius,” Phil says as he finishes up, putting everything in it’s place then turning to face his one customer.. “And yep, it’s just you. You get the bartender all to yourself, cheapest therapy ever. Aren’t you the lucky one? Unless you’re a serial killer or a cannibal. Are you a cannibal?”

The guy sits up straight and looks at Phil, studying his face. “You talk really fast. Do you know that?”

“Yeah I might have had a couple cups of coffee.”

The guy cocks his head to one side, “It’s almost midnight, mate.”

Phil doesn’t get his point. “Ok.”

The guy opens his mouth to speak but he’s interrupted by the unmistakable sound of young, drunk, men bursting through the door with a cacophony of whoops and raucous laughter.

“Shots shots shots shots!” They all shout in unison as they approach the bar.

The guy gives Phil a sympathetic look and rolls his eyes. He cups his hand over his mouth and leans in, “Ug, white dudes, am I right?”

Phil’s smiles and leans in closer, whispering, “but aren’t you a white dude?”

The guys shrugs, “I don’t count, I’m gay.”

Phil’s laugh bubbles out louder than he had intended.

“Hey lover, you wanna tear yourself away from your boyfriend long enough to pour us some tequila?”

Phil squares his shoulders, his mouth a thin line. He lines up 3 shot glasses and grabs the well tequila from under the bar. As he pours the last one, he stands a little taller and says, “One’s gonna be it guys.”

“What the fuck?” His voice is jarring and Phil resists the startled jump he feels.. “It’s only midnight.”

“You guys are drunk, I shouldn’t even serve you this one. I’m being nice.” Phil is doing his best to look tough, owning every cm of his considerable height.

“Oh, he’s being nice. Well fuck, lets pull up a chair then.”

The three of them sit down and the bar and throw back their shots in unison.

The cute guy at the bar is just sipping his drink, keeping his head down, watching from the corner of his eye.

Phil is shaking. He hates confrontation but he knows he has to stoop to their level a bit, show them he’s the alpha dog here. He’s not though, he has no desire to dominate anybody. He’d rather just make them a fruity cocktail and chat about films or what they study in school.

Phil walks to the corner and turns the music off. “Ok guys, I’m gonna go ahead and close up. Shots are on me, time to go.”

They laugh among themselves and mumble some fuck offs and other more personal expletives and Phil walks around the bar. He’s a head taller than these guys, he just needs to fake it, puff out his chest. He walks with purpose but he looks like saddlesore cowboy. He’s nearly reached them. Just as he’s about to attempt to say something intimidating, a hand reaches out and grabs his. It pulls him close to the one other occupied stool and he’s face to handsome face with tonight’s favorite customer.

“I’m Dan, nice to meet you.” He whispers into Phil’s ear, wrapping his hands around to grab his ass. Phil yelps but let’s himself slip between Dan’s knees as they open to make room.

“Hi Da…” their mouths smash together and Phil hums his approval, throwing his arms around Dan’s neck. It’s messy and noisy and wet as Dan gives the lads a show they won’t soon forget.

The three of them giggle uncomfortably but the giggles are silenced when Dan wraps his legs around Phil and digs his nails into his back through his jumper. Phil’s cock is grinding into Dan’s and he moans in spite of himself. The lads stare, slack jawed, wide-eyed, they aren’t talking, just watching.

Dan breaks the kiss and turns his head toward them, Phil’s lips moving to suck and bite at his neck without missing a beat, like no one is watching.

“He can’t be stopped when he’s like this.” Dan says, throwing back his head to expose more of his neck. “I’m sure he’d let you join in.” Dan hisses as Phil bites down just above his collarbone. He threads his fingers into Phil’s hair. “What do you think baby? 4 asses are better than one. We can bend them over the pool table!”

What follows is a medley of obscenities and homophobic slurs, followed by the door slamming as the three of them hurry out into the cold.

Dan bursts out laughing but Phil doesn’t stop his wild assault on Dan’s neck. He talks through the kisses, “you could’ve gotten us killed.”

“Nah,” Dan says, panting, “I have years of experience with homophobic man children.” He pauses as Phil pulls his big striped jumper up and off. “They’re more afraid of our gay cooties than we are of them.” The last words pitch up as Phil flicks his tongue over Dan’s nipple.

“How did you know I was gay?” Phil says as he grinds the palm of his hand over the prenounced shape of Dan’s hard cock in his jeans.

“Is that a serious...fuck.. question?” Dan leans back on his elbows, propped on the bar as Phil begins working his jeans open. “Um, should you lock the door?”

Phil looks up. “Oh shit, yeah. Thanks.” He pulls his keys out of his pocket and walks over to lock the door to the bar. Returning, to the corner, he cranks the music back up.

“So Dan, I seem to remember you saying something about bending over.” Phil sucks in his bottom lip, giddy and staring hungrily at Dan.

Dan stands, jeans open, shirtless and flushed, and walks across the room to the pool table. He leans seductively as Phil catches up and presses against him, biting his bottom lip and tugging it roughly. Phil’s hand slips down the back of Dan’s jeans. He’s just about to kiss this very hot gift that quite literally fell into his lap, when Dan puts a finger under his chin and brings them eye to eye.

“Wait.” Dan says through panting breaths, “what’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Phil. Now, turn around.”

Dan grins and does as he’s told.

 

End.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Please leave a comment and say hi on Tumblr @allthephils


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